if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
