At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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