I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
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