I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
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