I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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