so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
