We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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