I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
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