try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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