In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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