Redeem this text for a blowjob
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
