Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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