ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
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