The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Oh god it's open bar.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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