lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
