1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
