does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I would fuck him just for his dog
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
