You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
