Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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