there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
