You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
