Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Randomize
