Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Randomize
