when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
