Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Randomize
