He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
