Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
