Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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