Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I just want nice things and good sex
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Verdict: uncircumcised.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
