We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
