So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Randomize
