her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
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