I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I wish they made helmets for livers.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Randomize
