VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
