Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
