Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
