If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
