It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
