Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
