lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
