I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
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