He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize
