just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Well I just put wine in my tea
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
