So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
