Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
drinking out of a sandbucket again
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
My ATM looks so different sober.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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