I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
