marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Umm I'm too high to move.
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Randomize
