Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
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