i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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