omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Randomize
