I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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