Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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