You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Randomize
