Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
