It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
