We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Randomize
