So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
